The phobia

So for the past 1 week my class has been writing our narrative story's about s/he that has turned into and cat or a dog. On our orientation we have to introduce our charter and the scene. For my charters I have chosen a boy, a dog, a mum and a mum's friend. I chose the phobia for my title because someone in the story  has a break down and screams like a girl. The easy part about writing this piece was coming up with story lines like s/he screamed like a girl or I was awoken by big bright lights. The hard part was to make my story imaginary and come to life. The way I feel about my writing is hard to say, I like my writing but it isn't the best of my ability. My goal for next time is to use more higher level words than ( Wen't, Going, Get, The and all of the low level words. ) The way I can improve is to get a dictionary or a thesaurus and pull out some bigger, higher level words.

anyway here is a link to my writing.

The phobia